Sunday Puzzler Key

(To view this cartoon oh-so-much-bigger, just click it with your mousy)

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by Important Fashion Advice.

Because I am a person who has always enjoyed a good puzzle or game, today's Bizarro cartoon is a puzzler. The three different frames are each individual jokes, written in puzzle form. To find out the answers to the puzzles, click the links below.

Left Frame
Middle Frame
Right Frame

Let me know if you enjoyed this cartoon motif, as my friend Cliff and I (see previous blog to learn about Cliff and his unique difficulties) are thinking about doing this again sometime in the future. We might even publish a whole book of these. Would that appeal to you? Choose one of the following:
A. Yes.
B. Yes, I would buy 100 copies and convince 100 of my closest friends to do the same.
C. No, things don't appeal to me.
D. None of the above. I thought this was a blog about hair care.

Thanks for stopping by. Drop be each day for another post about the grisly behind-the-scenes goings-on in the world of high-stakes professional cartooning! Don't miss a single day!

TOMORROW'S COMIC

Tomorrow, Sunday, October 4, (4 October, if you're reading this in Europe) Bizarro will feature a strange word puzzle, the answers to which will be posted on this blog. If your local paper gets the Sunday Bizarro, check it out, try to solve it, then come here for the answers. If not, I'll post it in a way that will enable you to play along without seeing the answers immediately. IT'S NOT A CONTEST, just something fun for readers. I hope you enjoy it.

The strange puzzle was written by my strange friend, Cliff, whose brain, for reasons not yet discovered by the world's leading neuroscientists, just thinks this way. It makes him fun to collaborate with but hell to talk to over coffee.

Tune in tomorrow to see what it's all about. Until then,...if you wish to see the sunrise in the evening, stand on the other side of the world.

Death By Entertainment

Bizarro is brought to you at this moment by The Roman Colesseum.

I got into another family's car recently (I was invited, it wasn't a car-jacking) and saw that there were two separate DVD players on the backs of the front seats. In this way, their two children could each watch their own programming while riding in the car. Perhaps it was an overreaction, but I vomited.

When I was a kid (oh god, I hate sentences that start out that way) my siblings and I looked out the windows when we were in the car, even on long, long, interminably long car trips. If we wanted something else to do, we played games wherein we counted things. When we were bored with that, we punched and bit each other.

I wonder if the children in the aforementioned family have any idea what lies outside their own home and car. I wonder if they can identify a 3-dimensional cow standing by the roadside. Or if they know what high speed wind feels like against a rigid hand, or what a pop bottle sounds like when it shatters against the windshield of an oncoming car.

I fear for the future when the video generation are in charge. Their insatiable thirst for constant entertainment will likely make the blood lust of the ancient Romans look like child's play. I foresee a time when the Cottonbowl will be used to feed atheists to lions.

WINNER of CONTEST #6!!!

After many many many submissions with incorrect answers, the fourth comment posted with the correct list of differences belonged to one Ben Buckley. Congrats, Ben, you'll be getting five packages of Bizarro Trading Cards (assuming you live in North America.) Boy, do I envy you!

BEN, YOUR EMAIL DIDN'T WORK FOR ME FOR SOME REASON. I'LL TRY AGAIN.

As many of you know, #6 was a more difficult puzzle than the previous ones. Most of the submissions were incorrect in one way or another, and although it was posted at 6pm NYC time, by 8:30pm, I still didn't have four correct lists, and thus no winner. After I posted (and Tweeted) that fact at 8:35pm, a huge wave of new submissions came in.

Anway, here are names of the first three correct contestants, an honorable mention goes to them!:
Brian Gac
Marcello
Spyra

Below is Ben's correct list of differences. The most common error people made was missing that the border had been completed in the second image, or counting the border as three differences instead of one: top border is complete, left border is complete, etc.

Click the fuzzy little words to enlarge them.









Thanks again for playing, I'll be posting another contest next week and a new cartoon blog every day between now and then. Congrats to everyone who played, whether you got the correct answers or not. At least it kept you off the streets for a few minutes.

NO WINNER YET!!!!

AS OF 8:30PM, I STILL DON'T HAVE A WINNER FOR CONTEST #6. ONLY ONE CORRECT ENTRY YET, EVERYONE ELSE HAS HAD AT LEAST ONE ANSWER WRONG.

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN. I'M SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE THE FOURTH CORRECT ANSWER.

GOOD LUCK AND NO BITING.

CONTEST #6!!!

As usual, one image is the original cartoon, the warped image has been changed. Your mission, if you are heroic enough to tackle it, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion.
4. FOURTH PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of this post wins 5 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn.
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.

Click on the image to make it bigger and happy puzzling, amigos!

Frank Sex Talk

Bizarro is brought to you today by Favourites.

Let's talk about my sex life, shall we? Not really my sex life, but my inability to make the sex happen with a new acquaintance, like our friend Mr. Hornybull is attempting to do in this cartoon.

It is my impression that there exist human males who can approach females unknown to them, engage them in conversation, and end up mating with them in less than 24 hours. This is a skill I cannot fathom.

As for myself, I am hopelessly shy around attractive women whom I do not know. I find it virtually impossible to speak to a woman to whom I am attracted without a proper introduction. I feel as though no matter what my opening line is, I will come off like a desperate dweeb looking for sex. Even if I'm not. (Looking for sex – I have no control over the dweeb part.)

Fortunately for me, I have a different skill and that is the ability to lure attractive women into making the first move. I have no idea how I do it, but all of the relationships I've been in have started because someone I found attractive talked to me first. Perhaps there are women who find the desperate-dweeb-too-shy-to-talk-to-women look irresistible. Whatever it is, thank the gods of physical love that I have it. Without it, I'd still be a virgin.

I'm not saying I have any control over this ability or could make it happen every weekend if I wanted. I am not the sort of person who cruises for sex, so I've never tested the limits. When in a relationship, I am loyal and not tempted to stray and I like being in a committed relationship. So there have only been a few times in my post-high school life when I was "available" and looking to meet someone.

Women, on the other hand, don't have this problem. If a woman wants sex, all she has to do is leave the house. It's a simple matter of anthropology and evolution: men will do it with any willing female, women get to choose. (Gross generalization, yes, but mostly true.)

I hope this frank discussion of the human sex act has been informative and educational. And remember guys, when a woman says "moo," she means it. Unless she winks, lifts up her blouse and shows you her udders.