Sexy Beast

Bizarro is brought to you today by Second Amendment Mailboxes.

Here's an example of a cartoon I wasn't sure all of the editors of my client newspapers would tolerate, but I got no complaints so that is good. Not 15 years ago, the term "gay" was not allowed on most funny pages, so perhaps the country has evolved. That tends to happen as older editors are replaced by younger, hipper ones.

There is no deeper meaning or grand statement made here, I just thought that a gay Chewbacca was funny. I originally conceived of the joke as a gay Bigfoot, but couldn't find the right caption for it. Having him head out to a comics convention seemed a good vehicle, so I changed him.

I submitted this cartoon almost two months ago, but just last week I saw a hilarious sketch on "Important Things with Demetri Martin" about a gay Bigfoot. Hitting upon the same idea is something that happens frequently to cartoonists and humor writers of all kinds. One of my cartoons that ran in the paper this week was apparently very close to a very old "Far Side" cartoon and a couple of people wrote to me about it. I'll talk more about that when I post the cartoon next week.

Prehistoric Diplomacy

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I'm happy to say that this was a very popular cartoon, judging by the mail I received. I thought of it as a purely visual gag but as it developed, it became a nice statement about the way different people think. Some of us try to solve problems with cooperation, logic, shared information and common interests, others want to use a hammer. I'll let you draw your own conclusions from there, political and otherwise. One could easily see this as a cartoon about foreign policy, of course.

Cutting it short today, it's 80 degrees and sunny in Brooklyn and CHNW and I are hopping on the motorbike and heading to Coney Island. Not for the roller coaster or freakshows, but the ride out and back will be grand. Hope things are sunny and freaky where you are.

Stupidly Suspenseful

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For readers familiar with the TV show "24," this cartoon is self explanatory. If you're not, Jack Bauer is the preposterous, soap-opera-style hero of the fictional Counter Terrorist Unit of the U.S. government. He is a combination of James Bond and Batman, all wrapped up in the 5', 4", elfen body of Kiefer Sutherland. Bauer gets what he wants by threatening and torturing people, not unlike a Jack Russell Terrier.

In spite of it's myriad inconsistencies, preposterous plots and shameless overacting, or perhaps because of those things, CHNW and I have become avid fans over the run of the show. We never miss an episode, each of which takes several hours to watch as we pause it to laugh at the nonsensical twists.

Bizarro iPhone App Update

I've heard from some users of my Bizarro iPhone app that they've had some problems with it crashing. The gurus have issued an update to fix that, so check your App Update button. Or, if you haven't bought it yet, the new one should be complete with the fix. Thanks!

Baby Bear

(To experience the bear at actual size, click his nose.)

Bizarro would like to wish you a Happy Easter, unless you're against Easter and resent being wished a happy of it. In that case, I wish you a happy, albeit insignificant, day.

Since Easter is full of fairy tale contradictions that don't make any sense together, like a magician who comes back from the dead and a giant bunny hiding decorated chicken eggs, this seems as good a cartoon as any to post today. I like this gag quite a bit, if I may be so immodest. It started with the idea of Goldilocks in her old age, then a reunion with the three bears, which turned into this chance meeting near a dumpster with Baby Bear. It has a certain sense of reality to it that amuses me.

I'm not sure if I've plugged Awkward Family Photos before, but I get a lot of my hotlinks from there and it's one of my favorite sites on the Internet. There are some good Easter pics on there today and they have a new book out, which I highly recommend.

Sick and Funny

Bizarro is brought to you today by Showbiz.

Thursday night was the big Comedy for Karma show at Gotham Comedy Club in NYC and it was a big success. According to all reports and reviews, everyone had a great time with the exception of me, and here's why.

A few hours before the show, on Thursday afternoon, I started to come down with a deadly illness of some kind. I felt feverish, nauseous, a little dizzy, achy all over, and weak. Yay! Just how you want to feel when trying to make a roomful of people laugh.

I managed to make it through the show – adrenaline will prop you up on those situations – but by the time I got home that night, I felt like death and passed out like a freshman on Spring Break. About 3 in the morning, the barfing began and I spent the next 24 hours in hell. We all know the feeling. This morning, Saturday, I woke up feeling normal again and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. All in all, about a 40-hour bug.

Here are some shots from the show, my picture from the show is beneath the "Showbiz" link in the first line of this post, and yes, I brought my clothes to the show wadded up in a tiny sack.

Opening the show, Myq Kaplan, a relative newcomer but fast-rising star. Funny, smart, won Best Standup NYC competition last year, has his own Comedy Central special premiering on Apr 30. He's also vegan and has some very smart/funny/not-preachy material about it.

Next, Wyatt Cenac of The Daily Show. Smart, funny, Emmy Award winner, made people laugh openly and without remorse.

Lizz Winstead, creator of The Daily Show and Air America Radio, renowned standup comic, producer, performer extraordinaire. She talked a lot about her dog's habit of eating poop, hilarity ensued.

Gary Gulman, three-time veteran of our show, his Comedy Central special was called "Boyish Man," always a huge hit. Even I was laughing while trying to keep down my lunch.

Dave Atell finished the show in his inimitable, ear-burning style. He's been on every TV network, performed in every comedy club in America, is the quintessential pro, and never has a bad night. Atell killed, as he always does. There were a lot of bodies to clean up, but it was worth it.

Wait a minute! No picture of Louis C.K.? Indeed, he had a business emergency come up and had to cancel at the last minute. Very sad, but I explained to everyone that he's really not very funny and I think that made it better.

NOTE: Many readers have asked that we video tape the show for folks to watch online, but with so many performers, each with their own agents and contractual obligations, it is impossible to get anyone to allow a benefit show like this to be taped, unless it's being broadcast. Except for cartoonists, almost no one will give their work away on a large scale for free. Sorry, gang.

Fly Crimes and Misdemeanors

Bizarro is brought to you today by Olympic Athletes of Other Worlds.

Today's cartoon is a collaboration between my friend, Richard Cabeza and I. We were discussing how short fly's lives are and then came to the idea of appropriate jail terms. We didn't actually bother to look up the lifespan of the common housefly, of course, that would have been too much like work. One of the nice things about being a cartoonist is that nobody can really hold your feet to the flames about inaccuracies. "It's just a cartoon," is a pretty good defense in virtually any situation.

Tonight is the big comedy show in NYC. I'm a little edgy, as I always am before a show, and I can't keep myself from ad libbing punch lines and cracking wise. It's a subconscious thing as my mind prepares itself to think quickly, but it's obnoxious as hell and CHNW does her best to stay away from me and keep conversation down to a minimum until showtime. Hope to see some of you there.

Until tomorrow, be well, my friends, and keep your hands and feet inside the cockpit at all times.