Super Saturday!

(For the bigness that this cartoon has to offer, click the dang thing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Baggy Pants Fashion.

Remember that famous photo of Marilyn Monroe standing over a subway grate with her skirt blowing up? Sadly, that never actually happens in New York but the scene above happens every day. And subway grates aren't the only problem. We don't get a lot of windy thunderstorms here, but on the rare occasion that we do, several young men in clown-sized clothing go missing. Sometimes they show up in Jersey or Connecticut, sometimes they are whisked out to sea, only to wash up on the shore a week later as a fashionably-dressed bloated corpse.

I've participated in some stupid fashions in my day, but none of them lasted as long as the giant-pants fad has. As long as I live, I will never understand it.

On the plus side, it's a guaranteed laugh every time I leave the house.

PLUS!!!

Since it is SuperSaturday, here are a couple of bonus cartoons based on ideas from my buddy, Cliff. He wrote a cool emoticon gag for me a year-or-so ago that ran in Parade Magazine. By using your eyes, you may see it below.










And since I am cartoon rich and cash poor, here is one more bonus cartoon. This one was written by Cliff's son, Nicco, who is 9 or 11 or something like that. Kids say the darnedest things. (And why shouldn't they? The darnedest things happen!!!!)

Knowledge is Power

I just found these two videos this morning and they are truly amazing.

This first one describes in scientific terms the anthropological history of human empathy and how some of us have extended our compassion to other species and the planet.



The second one describes the psychological and social nature of different time zones and cities and how it affects our mentality and health.



Each is ten minutes long but will fly by because of the revolutionary way in which they are presented with visual and verbal information in an easy-to-absorb formula. A brilliant way to appeal to both verbal and visual learners simultaneously.

Do yourself a favor and watch them both. If you dig these half as much as I did, you'll be halfway to China.

Robot Muscles

Bizarro is brought to you today Roadside Robots.

Two more cartoons today, what a week it has been for more than one cartoon! First is the robot cartoon that comments on our species' regrettable ability to destroy everything we touch, usually for important reasons like personal comfort, sensory pleasure, and convenience. It's not like it's ever going to stop, but then neither will I stop complaining about it so maybe that evens out.

Next is a joke about exercising only a single part of your body. I've explored this theme at least a couple of times before, once with a guy who's right side is totally lumpy like a weightlifter and the other side is skinny. The other appears in my book, "Bizarro and Other Strange Manifestations of the Art of Dan Piraro," and is posted below.

Theoretically, it seems it should be possible to work certain facial muscles to the point that they bulge. I wonder if this will ever become a fad.

Click the image to enlarge it so you can read the caption from the book. That book is out of print now, but can still be bought here. You'll love it and I'll have more room in my garage. Seriously.

Fancy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Superstition.

Here are two cartoons again, since I'm still playing catchup. The first one means nothing, I just wanted to play with the term "fancy pants." Lately I've been playing with comics that are just silly, not particularly clever or witty. It's fun sometimes.

The next cartoon is about politics in general and wasn't really meant as a defense of Obama per se, but it was taken that way by at least one angry genius. Here is the email I received from him:

It must be hard to write a comic strip while holding obama's PECKER in your mouth. I don't remember you taking up for bush. Maybe you should make a comic about a hypocrite cartoonist who can't leave politics out of the funny papers. Never mind, you already do that. Idiot.

And my response:
Thanks for the note. You're right, I never took up for Bush, he was a retarded cowboy who could scarcely finish a sentence, much less lead a country. Obama is a brilliant man with a great deal of dignity, compassion, and respect for our constitution. Though I don't agree with many of his policies, at least he is not utterly destroying America at home and abroad, as "W" most certainly did. Not a matter of opinion, a matter of historical record.

By the way, I'm not required to leave politics out of the funny papers. You seem confused about that point, as well as the meaning of the word "hypocrite."

I rarely answer emails like this one in anger, but this guy seemed to need a slap in the face. I know he didn't care but it made me feel better to write it. I'm only human.

Happy Cows

Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Babies Come From.

Just got back to town last night after four days away. If you're keeping a log of my whereabouts, I was in Los Angeles on Thursday night doing some "comedy" (quotation marks are indicative of the subjective nature of the comedy I did) at the premiere of Skin Trade, a movie about where the cute little fur collars, cuffs, jackets and hats everyone is wearing come from. If you're willing to wear fur, you should be willing to watch this film. That's all I'm going to say about it.

Friday I flew home, loaded up the BMW and drove up to Woodstock Sanctuary for our annual June Jamboree. The weather sucked for June – chilly and drizzly – but the event was a success nonetheless. Yay.

Here's two cartoons, to catch up from my lack of posts over the last few days. I hope they give you a chuckle.

And here is a strange video taken at Woodstock over the weekend. We had no idea this would happen and have never seen the steer acting this way before. Normally, they are very sedentary. You can count on one hand the number of times they take more than two steps at a time in a given month. I guess they just like Three Dog Night.

Sevenly Puns

(You can make this cartoon big and pretty by clicking on the second violinist's hair bun.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Puns.

I'm off to Woodstock in a few minutes for our June Jamboree, so I don't have much time. Here is the seventh of my Sunday Punnies series. If you want to see your pun in the paper, send it to me via email (see Bizarro.com for addy) or leave it in the comments section of one of my blog posts. It must be original – I don't want to do puns that have been floating around the Internet or whatever, you dig? And you must be willing to donate it free of charge, no strings attached.

Gotta hit the highway, kids. Be groovy.

Baloney Show Redux

After many years of people asking me to post video of my comedy shows, I finally managed to get one on the web. Go here to see clips from my full-length, elaborate, one-man comedy show which hasn't been performed in its entirety since '08 and will likely never be performed again – The Bizarro Baloney Show. This is the one I debuted in The New York International Fringe Festival in '02 and won "Best Solo Show" for. I also got a nice review in The New York Times, but, alas, nobody reads that shameless left-wing rag.

And the same folks that put up the comedy show clip have further demonstrated their twisted sense of reality by attempting to get me nominated for a Kennedy Center Honor. Yes, it's ridiculous, but the best things in life always are! Here's how you can help.