Being Super

(Click on Batman's nose to see larger version)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Gas Guzzlers to Die For.

Batman stag party trivia questions and answers:
1. What was Robin's real name? (A: Dick Grayson)
2. What was the most prominent feature of the 1960s TV Batman costume? (A: Adam West's package.)
3. What was Bruce Wayne's middle name? (A: I don't know for sure but it was probably Peter.)

Everyone knows that Dick Grayson was a bit of a dim bulb, otherwise how could Bruce Wayne have ever talked him into going out in public dressed like that? Especially to confront thugs? So this cartoon merely illustrates one of the many problems Batman likely had with Robin in the early days.

The second cartoon of this weekend's 3-pack is a mystery. I don't know what it means, I just thought it was funny having a gingerbread man asking for a job at a service station. It is based on a true story.

Lastly, we have a fun cartoon about aliens eating astronauts. I like to draw alien creatures, I suspect that most cartoonists do, so I like writing cartoons about them. Here is a link to my favorite alien drawing I've ever done, which I used to advertise my Bizarro Trading Cards.

By the way, you can help Batman fight crime by buying Bizarro Trading Cards. A portion of each purchase goes toward supplies needed to draw Batman fighting crime.

Tiny Garage

Just for fun.






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Conspiracies

Bizarro is brought to you today by Conspiracy Theories.

This cartoon got some angry letters from readers who believe that 9/11 was an inside job and felt I was making fun of them. Most of the letters were polite and chided me for being uniformed about the various holes in the "official" story and included links to prove their case. I've seen most of these sites before but viewed them again so I could be totally, totally informed.

I don't mean to insult any of you who believe this, but here is my position, for what it's worth. I have no doubt that Cheney and Bush (word order intentional) would have done such a thing if they could. But considering their utter failure at everything else they touched, I find it inconceivable that they could have pulled off a mission so huge and complex without everything going wrong. First, a lot of people would have had to be in the loop and history tells us that people are not good at keeping secrets; someone would have come forward by now with irrefutable evidence, not just conjecture. Second, you can find holes in every story, true or not. The human brain is irresistibly drawn to conspiracy theories, it's part of our evolutionary nature to study events, construct a story and draw conclusions. Different people come to different conclusions, but they can't all be true. As it turns out, the simplest explanation is usually correct. Bin Laden is the simplest explanation here, by far.

The Bush administration was clearly guilty of ignoring repeated warnings about the attack beforehand and using it as a tool to frighten the nation into attacking a country that had nothing to do with it. And we all know how well that worked out for the U.S. They used 9/11 in the most unscrupulous way imaginable to get what they had been wanting for years and that alone is enough to put them in jail forever. But I don't think they orchestrated it. I think it was Bin Laden. Just my opinion, we all have one.

As I said, most of the letters were polite but here is one that falls into some other category. I found it amusing, I hope you do, too. It appears here in its entirety, except for the signature.

THIS PAST WEEK ?NOT SO FUNNY BUT ALSO A LIE : "BUSH DIDN'T
DO 911 ... "MEANING ? HE DID , OR HE DID NOT ?AND YOU KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE >? BUSH DID NINE ELEVEN AND TWELVE AND 2 WARS ? I
REALLY LIKE THE BIZARRO COMIC , BUT I DID NOT GET THIS ONE ... SHAME ON YOU AND OUR GOVERNMENT FROM 2001 TO 2008 , AND THE LITTLE BOYS STILL COVERING IT UP ... I AM 76 YRS OLD AND DO NOT LIKE JOKES LIKE THAT . THIS /THAT WAS A" FALSE FLAG ATTACK ". MAY THE TALIBAN KICK PETRAEUS AS AND THEN YOURS .. I KNOW HEARST IS A RAG PAPER : I AM JUST ABOUT TO WRITE TO SCARPETTA,(PATRICIA CORNWELL ) PAGE 158 CHAPTER
10 ... BERGER LOOKS OUT HER WINDOW AND SEES FLIGHT 11 CRASH INTO WTC.
THEN THE SECOND PLANE HIT ... NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FN PLANE CRASHED INTO ANY BUILDING ... CHECK OUT THE STATISTICS AT TRANSPORTATION DEPT (KNOWN HAS RITA ) DEPARTURES ,, FLIGHTS 11,175,77,
93 ? FLEW ON 9/10 , AND WERE PENCILLED IN HAS FLYING ON 9/11/2001
(MISSING THE TAIL NUMBERS AND DEPARTURE TIME ...

I responded to the other emails, but not this one. I don't actually speak this man's language and I couldn't be certain he has a translator available.

ON A DIFFERENT TOPIC:
Hey, kids. A reader just told me that somebody posted some random clips from my Baloney Show on Funny or Die. Please go to that site and vote "funny." I'm too young to die.

Thanks!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d0d4a60502/the-bizarro-baloney-show-by-dan-piraro

A, like, awesome cartoon

Bizarro is, like, brought to you or whatever by, like, the Awesome Key.

Someone bought a color poster of this cartoon off of my Cafe Press site and I was reminded of how much I like it. Several times each week I am alarmed at how many adults, usually women, talk like goofy teenagers. I think women do it more because they can get away with "cute," childlike behavior in the workplace (because there are men who find it endearing) much longer than men can.

Anyway, I like this old cartoon and I can't stand people who talk in that clipped, post-Valley-Girl accent and fear that one day there will be 50-year-old judges who talk like that.

And now an advert: you get lots of my images on, like, a gazillion different products or whatever at Cafe Press here. It's not like I make any money from it, but I thought you might think it was awesome.

Dog God Monkey Gay

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bad Parents.

Parents aren't supposed to have favorites, but of these three cartoons, I like the personal masseuse one best. I thought of this while walking through Times Square recently when an organ grinder's monkey jumped on my back and began searching my pockets for valuables. He eventually found my wallet and opened it, but after finding nothing more valuable in it than an old bus pass, he threw it down and moved on to the next passerby. This kind of scenario is one reason I don't carry valuables. The other is that I don't have any.

My next offering is about a plant who is tired of watching "Golden Girls" reruns. For my readers who are either not acquainted with trends in the gay community or who think that homosexuality is an abomination unto the lord and don't associate with them, "Golden Girls" is an immensely popular series among American gays. Maybe elsewhere, too. Something about Bea Arthur sends them into squeals of joy. I like Bea Arthur too, although I strongly suspect I am not gay.

Finally, we have the atheist Boston Terrier. I got a lot of mail about this one, but none was from angry theists, as I suspected I might. Instead, it was all from readers who couldn't figure out what it meant. (Perhaps another reason Bizarro did poorly on a comics poll in Kansas City and subsequently canceled? Missouri is the "Show Me State" after all.) Most of them were trying to make "Boston Terrier" spell something backwards when in fact, I was just going for "dog". I chose a BT randomly, because I like to draw them. My bad, should have had the mutt on the left deliver the line.

Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday. You are always on my mind.

3-fer Saturday

Bizarro is brought to you today by Religious Interpretation.

Today's extra special 3-fer is a jam packed full of various things that are sure to amuse somebody somewhere for some reason for at least a few seconds. I hope you're one of them.

The first comic includes a reference to Tarzan's Hollywood sidekick, a chimp named Cheeta. Cheeta's shirt is a satire of the popular middle-American saying, "WWJD?" which stands for "what would jesus do?" Popular with Christian teens, I suppose it was invented as a way to keep reminding teenagers that a vengeful god is watching them and they'd better not try to get away with anything. I didn't see this cartoon as a slap at religion but one reader did, telling me I owed him an apology and that my cartoon likely angered Jesus, which he insinuated was not a good thing and something I should be afraid of. I'm not inclined to believe that if some kind of god does exist, it would be so petty and insecure as to be insulted this easily.

Cartoon #2 is a simple illustration of a different meaning for the common claim that something or someone is huge in Japan. Nothing much to say here except that googling images of sumo wrestlers for reference reminded me of how utterly weird humans are.

Our final cartoon today is a Sunday panel and employs one of my favorite cartoon gimmicks – leading the reader to think one thing at first glance only to reveal after reading the caption that the picture is not what it seems. Here, most people's first assumption is that the horse is running when in fact, he is hovering in place. I particularly like the way the drawing came out on this one. The looks on both horses' faces adds to the joke and the cowboy on the hover-horse looks appropriately goofy. I also love doing this kind of desert background. Be sure to click on the image for a larger view.

Enjoy your weekend. That's an order.

AMAZING Animation

Here's something sent to me by Heather M. from Indianapolis. It's a truly amazing animation by an amazing artist and crew. Keep in mind this is not done with computers, all of it is stop-motion animation and actual paint. I can only imagine how long this took to produce. The concept and storyboards alone would take months.

BIG BANG BIG BOOM - the new wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.