Penguin Camouflage

Bizarro is brought to you today by Casual Chic.

A lot of people liked this pirate cartoon and I do too. Penguins are inherently funny and sitting on the shoulder of a bad ass makes them even funnier. Just my opinion, no angry comments, please.

The Sunday cartoon below if from July 4th weekend. It isn't really meant to be particularly patriotic or anything, I just happened to think of it when I needed a cartoon to run on July 4th. Here in NYC, we have camouflaged soldiers walking through subway stations and airports keeping an eye out for terrorists or whatever. It often occurs to me that in urban settings such as this, traditional camouflage performs the opposite function from what it was intended. They might as well be wearing garish clown suits or foam rubber mascot costumes.

Of course, they're not really trying to disappear in those situations so the whole argument makes no sense. I just wanted an excuse to mention foam rubber mascot costumes. Gosh, those things are great.

Pieces of Eight

Bizarro is brought to you today by Embarrassing History Under Glass.

Eight relatively unknown facts about pirates:

Pirates did not wear a skull and crossbones on their hats, unless they had recently raided a Halloween store.

While most pirates had parrots on their shoulders, some kept rodents in their pants.

Pirates wore a patch over one eye to save money on mascara.

Unlike their 18th century predecessors, modern day pirates do not attempt to look like Keith Richards.

Many pirates suffered severe bone damage by jamming their foot into a peg leg.

The symbol on the pirate flag, the "Jolly Roger," replaced the "Jolly Rancher" flag in 1704.

Legend has it that one pirate of particularly ruthless reputation had a spell cast on him that made him impervious to death. Many people believe that "Captain Iron Heart" still stalks the world today, spreading terror and misery with unparalleled blood lust.

As far as historians can determine, there was never a pirate called Tyler "Poopy Drawers" Cohen.

Don't forget today's contest at 7pm Eastern. Be there or be squarely elsewhere.