THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

So here it is President's Day and Valentine's Day back-to-back. Who can afford all of the presents for both such important holidays, especially in this sluggish economy?!

The solution is to get that special someone (and yourself) a Bizarro iPhone app! Boy, am I excited about it! I've been working for months with some very cool app designers here in NYC and we've come up with a new innovation in the comics-for-phones field!

Previously, with other comics apps, you could only buy a given number of cartoons and cram them into your phone and when you'd seen them all, that was that. Could take you ten minutes, could take you ten years.

With the Bizarro app, a NEW COMIC is added EVERY DAY! (The same comic that appears in newspapers.) PLUS, at any given time there is a YEAR'S ARCHIVE of comics that can be accessed super easy and fast from a handy-dandy calendar page. You can also click to access bio info about me (oh! so funny!), info about Bizarro (more humor!), and a help link if pushing buttons on a phone ends up being more than you can handle. Also, you can shoot an email to your other cool friends who might like this app, and you can leave comments. Last, but not least, you can
click to access this very ever-lovin' blog.

ALL FOR ONLY $1.99 PER YEAR! How can we give all of these laughs, drawings, insights, and life-changing experiences away for only $1.99 per year? I'm not sure, I'll have to ask them about raising the price to something more appropriate, like $10K per week. But for now, the price is DEAD CHEAP, so don't miss it!

As you can see from the graphic below, the home page is super long, so scroll down, amigos!

MAY I READ MORE ABOUT IT NOW?
YES! READ MORE ABOUT IT NOW!





Click it to big it...

Believe It!

(To see this cartoon in a bigger-sized way, click on the xkelrtoi stabilizer switch on the wall)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Miracles.

I never know how many people will be confused by a given cartoon but I'm guessing this one caused its share of puzzlement. What I'm referring to here is the Church of Scientology, which has followers all over the world but is headquartered in Los Angeles, and whose faithful believe something similar to ancient space aliens are living inside them. Yes, it sounds like a strange basis for a "religion," but then it was devised by a science fiction writer, so what do you expect?

I often wonder how otherwise rational people can believe these things, but then again, all religions are pretty outrageous when you look at them objectively. They usually involve virgin births, half-man/half-gods, resurrections from the dead, magical healing, evil creatures who can get inside you, and eternal beings who float around the universe. You might think these are Judeo-Christian concepts but they are found in the vast majority of belief systems throughout human history. They are ubiquitous concepts in many faiths that predate the Bible and they persist today.

I finally saw Bill Maher's film, "Religulous" and although I fully expected to enjoy it, it was far more entertaining and enlightening than I had anticipated. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys the rational examination of human behavior and a good laugh, regardless of their faith or lack of it.

BIG NEWS!!

Very exciting, HUGE news about Bizarro to be announced on this blog on Monday! Don't miss it!

I'd tell you now, but you'd just forget it over the weekend with all of your drinking and partying and cruising for sex and household chores and napping and disco dancing and snow shoveling and playing with the dog and gambling and carousing and hiding in the bushes outside your ex's house to see who they're dating and experimenting with new hair color products.

So Monday it is.

In the meanwhile, if you have some time and are into this kind of thing, here is a long interview I did last week for a podcast. Grab your pod and put on your headphones.

http://talltalefeatures.com/2010/02/12/episode-73/

The New West

Bizarro is brought to you today by Safety.

For those readers who have not visited a state in which it is legal to carry concealed weapons, this is a sign that you see with some regularity. It is alarming to people like me, who are not used to seeing this kind of thing.

CHNW (my Crazy Half-Nekked Wife) was visiting family in South Dakota recently and we were chatting via cell phone one day while she was out shopping. She read a sign like this one to me as she was entering a store and I offhandedly asked if there was a pile of guns next to the door. Hence, the cartoon.

I don't usually get cartoon ideas from real life situations since most of my cartoons are more surreal than reality. But in this case, not much exaggeration is needed to make this surreal. If I lived in a community in which a lot of people were toting guns, I'd likely be tempted to get a gun to protect myself from all the guns. Seems like a slippery slope.

Without getting too political, if you look around the world at countries where guns are plentiful and unregulated, it is hard to find one you'd even want to visit, much less live in.

Contest #18 Winners

Our winners this week are:
1. Phillip Crow
2. monsterzero
3. Randy

Congrats to them and many thanks to all of you who played. Even if you don't win, it's SO MUCH FUN, RIGHT?

Another cartoon puzzler contest thingy next Thursday and daily posts of various types of shenanigans most days until then.

Winning answers:

Contest #18!!!!!

RULES, ETC:
As usual, two images are posted below, one is the original cartoon, the warped image beneath it has been changed in 15 ways. Your mission, if you are the disco royalty that I think you are, is to find those differences.

1. There are 15 differences between the two cartoons.
2. NONE of the differences have to do with the warped nature of the second image.
3. ALL of the differences are something missing, added, or moved, not just "bent" from the distortion. The differences will not be too subtle, so once you spot one you should be relatively certain you've found it. (As opposed to something like, "Is the hat on this one is a shade lighter than the other one? Hmmm.")
4. FIRST PERSON to correctly list the 15 differences in the comments section of the post wins 4 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards, mailed by me personally from Bizarro International Headquarters in Brooklyn. I'll even lick the stamp, unless it's self adhesive. SECOND AND THIRD persons with correct answers will each get 2 packs of Bizarro Trading Cards!
5. Put your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you win. I won't post it or keep it or file it or sell it or mount a Broadway musical about it.
6. If you live outside the U.S., I may not be able to send you a prize. Depends. Canada is probably fine, Saudia Arabia, probably not.

Click on the image below to ENLARGE and PLAY!

Cracker Divorce

Spread the word far and wide,
oh ye of puzzling inclinations,
for upon the dusk of this
dayeth shalt appear the
Bizarro Puzzler Game Brain-Teaser Search-n-Find Contest Thing
which hath doth beenth prophesied.

Boy, donkeys talk funny.




Now to the regular post of the day...






Bizarro is brought to you today by Soft Sexy Mouths.

This cartoon makes me laugh. I hope that you, too, have noticed a tightening of the cheek muscles and a cool wind on your teeth.

Until this evening, remember that I love you, darling reader, and that my lust for your crackers is real.